Scared and unworthy

This poem was written for all the people who understand and have been through this particular phase in life, or know someone who has. 

My head is yelling at me

About all the stupid things I've done.

It tells me I'm unworthy
 For anyone I love.

I feel the pain it brings me, 

My lack of self-esteem,   the
And the fear it drives into my heart.

The idea that anyone could love me

After all the nasty things.

I build my walls up high 

Trying to keep myself safe,

 fear is the tool that drives me there;

While secrets are what makes my walls unsafe. 

The fear of showing people myself.

The fear of opening up.

Its the fear that drives me under cover

Away from difficult situations.

My fear pushes people I care about away 

With out me realizing until its to late.

It brakes me up from inside out 

And yet, still I build my walls high

Making the same mistakes 

I should know by now not to make. 

By Evelyn Creon